The Biggest Downside of Surrogacy Abroad (And How to Prepare for It)

Surrogacy abroad has opened doors for countless prospective parents — offering hope, legal access, and the opportunity to grow a family even when options at home are limited. From lower costs to LGBTQ+ inclusion, the appeal is undeniable. But there’s one major downside you need to be prepared for:

Legal and logistical uncertainty — and an often-overlooked second challenge: the emotional weight of giving up control during the pregnancy.

In this post at The Surrogacy Insider, I’ll explain why these are the most significant downsides of surrogacy abroad, what they look like in real life, and how you can navigate them with confidence.

Why Families Turn to Surrogacy Abroad

Before diving into the downsides, let’s quickly review why so many intended parents — LGBTQ+ couples, singles, and those facing fertility struggles — explore cross-border surrogacy:

• Surrogacy is permitted (and often better supported) for same-sex and single parents. Destinations like Colombia specifically recognise gay marriage and prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation, whilst many home countries restrict or ban surrogacy for LGBT families entirely.

  
  

• Access to a wider pool of egg donors and gestational carriers. Albania's proximity to various European countries means access to donors with specific characteristics like blond hair and blue eyes, whilst Cyprus (North) relies on travel surrogates from Ukraine, Kazakhstan, and Kyrgyzstan, expanding choice beyond local populations.

  
  

• Lower costs than in countries like the U.S. or Canada. Mexico ranges from $60,000-$90,000 compared to USA costs exceeding $150,000, whilst Armenia offers packages from $40,000-$60,000, sometimes less than half domestic pricing.

  
  

• Faster matching times and fewer waitlists. Albania offers shorter wait times thanks to its emerging status, whilst established destinations often have extensive waiting lists that can delay starts by 6-12 months.

  
  

• High-quality medical care in many destination countries. Cyprus (North) hosts fertility clinics adhering to international standards, whilst the Czech Republic has established itself as a popular IVF destination with experienced reproductive technologies.

  
  

The Biggest Downside: Legal and Logistical Complexity 

The top challenge of doing surrogacy overseas lies in navigating a web of legal systems that often don’t align.

1. Legal Parentage May Not Be Automatically Granted

Not all countries recognise your parental rights through surrogacy (it's especially true for same-sex couples). You may face:

• Delays in securing birth certificates or passports.

• The need for adoption or legal parentage orders upon returning home.

• Issues with travel documentation, even after the baby is born.

  
  

The principle of "mater semper certa est" (the mother is always certain) creates specific

challenges in destinations like Colombia, where the individual who gives birth is acknowledged as the legal mother regardless of genetic connections. Surrogates maintain complete parental rights until they voluntarily relinquish them through adoption procedures.

Same-sex couples face additional recognition hurdles. While destinations may welcome diverse families, your home country's laws determine ultimate recognition. Some nations refuse to acknowledge surrogacy arrangements involving same-sex parents, creating additional difficulties.

2. Citizenship and Border Challenges

Bringing your baby home may take weeks or even months, depending on how citizenship is granted and the laws of your home country. In the meantime, you’re managing a newborn in a foreign legal system.

Emergency medical situations compound documentation delays. Families managing newborn complications abroad may find themselves unable to access home country healthcare systems or insurance coverage, whilst proper documentation remains incomplete.

These scenarios can create life-threatening situations with limited recourse.

Embassy processing times vary dramatically and can extend unexpectedly. Some consulates require DNA testing, court orders, or additional documentation that wasn't initially disclosed, creating surprise delays during what should be the final stage of your journey.

3. Regulatory Instability

Countries like India, Argentina, and Thailand have changed their surrogacy laws suddenly — even for ongoing cases. Legal reversals can interrupt your journey without warning. Surrogacy laws are unpredictable, and the landscape is ever-changing.

Argentina exemplifies regulatory volatility. Recent changes introduced mandatory court approval requirements, extending processes by several months even for arrangements already underway. New policies affected families who had invested significant time and money based on previous legal frameworks.

The Czech Republic's 2022 arrests of an international surrogacy network created immediate uncertainty for all families pursuing arrangements there. The scandal involved alleged exploitation and legal violations, causing agencies and families to reconsider the destination's viability.

Recent changes in Greece pose a lot of challenges and unanswered questions for those who started the process there but have not yet received a court decision.

And so on.

Giving Up Control: The Emotional Side of Surrogacy Abroad

In addition to the legal complexities, there’s another deeply personal challenge: a complete surrender of control during the pregnancy.

1. Your Pregnancy Happens in Another Country

You’re not attending doctor’s appointments. You’re not meeting the surrogate weekly. You may not be present at key milestones, and that distance can feel enormous.

Missing ultrasound appointments where you hear the first heartbeat or see detailed fetal development creates a profound emotional disconnect. Many parents report feeling like observers rather than participants in their own pregnancy journey, particularly during milestone moments they've imagined experiencing firsthand.

Communication barriers complicate emotional connection beyond basic language differences. Medical terminology, cultural communication styles, and different approaches to patient involvement can leave families feeling excluded from decision-making processes. Even with professional translators, nuanced conversations about preferences or concerns become challenging.For many parents, this emotional gap is harder than expected.

2. Worries About Bonding With the Baby

Some parents worry: Will I feel connected to the baby if I wasn’t part of the pregnancy?

The good news? Bonding happens through care, time, and presence — but the anxiety is real and deserves acknowledgement.

Research demonstrates that parent-child attachment develops through postnatal interaction rather than pregnancy participation. However, missing nine months of anticipated connection creates genuine anxiety for many families. The absence of feeling first movements, attending routine check-ups, and participating in pregnancy traditions can trigger attachment concerns.

These worries intensify during pregnancy complications. When surrogates experience morning sickness, medical concerns, or emotional challenges, physical distance makes families feel helpless. The inability to provide immediate support or comfort during difficult moments can be particularly challenging for parents who anticipated being hands-on caregivers.

3. Cultural and Communication Barriers

Even with translators or coordinators, communicating with your surrogate and medical/legal teams in a different country, language, and culture can feel impersonal — or even frustrating at times.

Medical terminology often lacks direct translations, leading to incomplete information or misunderstandings about procedures, risks, or recommendations. Professional interpreters familiar with reproductive medicine become essential, but even skilled translators cannot always convey emotional subtleties or cultural context.

How to Protect Yourself and Your Journey

Despite these challenges, many families have beautiful, successful surrogacies in foreign countries. Here’s how to reduce risk and maintain peace of mind:

1. Hire Legal Experts in Both Countries

Don’t skip this. Make sure you have an attorney in your home country and another in the surrogacy destination. Ask early about:

• Birth registration and legal parenthood.

• Passport/citizenship procedures.

• Post-birth legal steps.

  
  

Home country attorneys must specialise in surrogacy recognition and international family law. Destination lawyers need extensive experience with international cases—request references from previous clients and coordinate between both legal teams before selecting your destination.

2. Choose a Reputable, Transparent Agency or Clinic

Not all providers are created equal. Avoid working with agencies that promise unrealistic timelines or "guaranteed success" without legal backing (written out in the contract you sign with the agency). Large upfront payments before you even visit your chosen clinic and restricted access to the egg donor database are other major red flags.

Investigate their operational history, success rates, and crisis management procedures. Demand detailed financial breakdowns and verify their local infrastructure and medical partnerships.

3. Prepare Emotionally — and Practically

Talk to other parents who’ve gone through surrogacy in a non-native country. Build a support system. Prepare for possible delays. And plan a longer post-birth stay, if needed, to bond with your baby.

Connect with cross-border surrogacy support groups and consider professional counselling experienced with international arrangements. Budget for extended stays and unexpected expenses beyond basic package costs.

4. Stay Informed on Changing Laws

If you’re considering emerging markets like Armenia, Albania, or Colombia, stay alert. Laws change rapidly — sometimes with little warning.

Subscribe to legal updates from reproductive law organisations and maintain regular contact with your legal team. Develop backup plans for alternative destinations and leverage professional networks for early warnings about regulatory shifts.

Overcoming the Challenges Hand in Hand

It’s clear that we cannot treat surrogacy abroad as just a medical or only legal journey. It’s an emotional one, too. While the biggest downsides are the legal complexity and the emotional challenge of giving up control, the right preparation can turn those obstacles into manageable steps.

With the right guidance, a trusted team, and an honest understanding of the process, you can still build the family you’ve dreamed of — safely, ethically, and with clarity.

Ready to explore your foreign surrogacy options? Book a free personal consultation with me. I’m here to help you ask the right questions — and find the answers that fit your family’s future.