Building your family through surrogacy is a beautiful and deeply personal journey. For LGBTQIA+ parents, it often comes with unique considerations - from navigating country-specific legal frameworks, to choosing the right surrogacy agency, to deciding on donors or reciprocal IVF.
I’m Olga Pysana, founder of The Surrogacy Insider. My mission is clear: I work exclusively for you - the intended parents.
I’m not an agency, I don’t represent surrogates, and I don’t run surrogacy programs.
Instead, I provide unbiased, independent guidance at the very start of your journey, helping you cut through the noise, avoid costly mistakes, and make clear, confident decisions about the path that’s right for you.
Book your FREE 30-minute consultation today and let’s talk about your next step toward parenthood.
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Why Do LGBTQIA+ Intended Parents Need Guidance?
Surrogacy for same-sex couples and transgender parents shares many of the same medical steps as any surrogacy journey, but there are added layers of complexity.
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Legal Recognition: Depending on your state or country, securing both parents’ names on a birth certificate can require pre-birth orders, second-parent adoptions, or other legal filings.
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Genetic Choices: Gay male couples often decide whether one or both partners will contribute sperm. Lesbian couples may consider reciprocal IVF so both are biologically involved. Trans parents may explore fertility preservation before or after transitioning.
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Financial Planning: Costs are significant, ranging on average from $150,000 to $250,000 in the U.S. International programs can provide more budget-friendly alternatives, but not all are legally secure, ethical, or transparent. With the right guidance, intended parents can identify safe, reputable programs abroad while avoiding the pitfalls of hidden fees or misleading promises. Careful planning ensures you get the benefits of lower costs without unnecessary risks.
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Agency Dynamics & Expectations: Navigating your relationship with an agency requires clarity and preparation. While agencies can provide structure and support, it’s important to maintain realistic expectations about what they will, and will not, handle. Understanding their role, potential limitations, and where independent guidance may still be needed can help you avoid misunderstandings and ensure a smoother experience.
Most agencies present their own solutions. My role is different. I provide clarity without bias. I help you understand the options, prepare for decisions, and connect you with the right professionals when you’re ready.
Have a first question in mind? Send it to me using the contact form - I personally reply to every message.
How I Support Intended Parents
Think of me as your navigator through a complex landscape. Here’s what I do for LGBTQIA+ families:
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Explaining the Process Clearly. From IVF basics to legal paperwork, I break everything down into understandable steps. No jargon, no overwhelm.
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Destination Insights. I track the evolving international surrogacy landscape (laws, ethics, costs) and help you identify the safest and most strategic options for your family goals.
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Reviewing Agency & Clinic Options. If you’re considering working with an agency, I’ll help you read the fine print in their programs/contracts, compare fee structures, and spot red flags. You’ll feel empowered to choose the right partner, or pursue a more independent path if that suits you.
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Financial Planning Support. I’ll walk you through typical costs, what’s usually included, and where families often overspend. Together, we’ll sketch out a realistic budget.
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Legal Awareness. I’ll explain the importance of pre-birth orders, second-parent adoptions, and other protections. Then I’ll connect you with lawyers who specialize in Surrogacy/Fertility Family law.
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Emotional & Practical Coaching. From managing expectations to building healthy communication with your preferred agency, I help you prepare emotionally and practically for the road ahead.
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Unique Solutions. Want something beyond standard agency packages, like a specific egg donor request, a particular destination, or a custom setup? I have the right contacts to make it possible, always within the boundaries of legality and ethical practice.
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Crisis Navigation. If your journey faces unexpected hurdles (legal shifts, destination closures, agency issues) I’ll help you pivot quickly with backup plans and alternative pathways.
Feeling overwhelmed? Book your FREE consultation and let’s map your first steps together.
Your Surrogacy Journey & Timeline
Every journey is unique, but most LGBTQIA+ surrogacy experiences follow a similar structure. Here’s what to expect:
1. Research and Contracts (3–4 months)
Choosing where to pursue surrogacy, and with whom, is one of the most important early decisions. I’ll help you compare destinations, review agency agreements, and evaluate package structures so you understand exactly what’s included, what’s extra, and what’s realistic. Together, we’ll make sure your choice is aligned with your goals, budget, and legal safety.
I always say it’s worth investing more time, focus, and resources here - because careful preparation at this stage can save you from costly mistakes later.
2. Medical Procedures (3 months)
For gay male couples, this often includes choosing an egg donor and creating embryos in the lab. Lesbian couples or trans parents may choose reciprocal IVF, donor sperm, or use preserved gametes.
3. Surrogate Matching & Achieving Pregnancy (3 months +)
With embryos ready, the next step is finding the right surrogate and moving toward embryo transfer. It’s important to know that pregnancy isn’t always achieved on the first attempt, sometimes more than one transfer is needed, or even a new round of embryo creation. This is a normal part of the process.
4. Pregnancy (~9 months)
Once pregnant, your surrogate carries the journey forward. You’ll receive regular updates from the agency, attend ultrasounds (in person or virtually), and share milestones.
5. Legal Finalization
Depending on the destination, you may secure a pre-birth order during pregnancy or need a second-parent adoption after birth. I’ll help you understand your specific legal pathway and connect you with trusted experts to ensure both parents are fully recognized.
Altogether, a surrogacy journey typically takes 15–24 months from consultation to birth. My support is focused at the beginning - helping you research destinations, compare agencies, understand contracts, and set realistic expectations. With a solid foundation in place, you’ll move forward with clarity and confidence, avoiding many of the common roadblocks that can arise later.
Want a roadmap tailored to your situation? Ask me for my free step-by-step checklist during your consultation.
Special Considerations for Transgender Parents
Surrogacy can be an affirming option for transgender individuals and couples. I ensure your path honors both your identity and your family-building goals.
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Fertility Preservation: Before hormone therapy or surgery, options like sperm banking, egg freezing, or embryo creation can preserve future possibilities.
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Reciprocal IVF: Some trans couples use reciprocal IVF so both partners are biologically involved, if medically possible.
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Inclusive Care: I connect you with providers who understand trans healthcare and can provide respectful, affirming support.
Legally, trans parents often use the same tools as other LGBTQ+ families: pre-birth orders, second-parent adoptions, or parentage orders to ensure full parental recognition.
Are you a trans parent exploring surrogacy? Book a consultation with me and let’s discuss your options in a safe, supportive space.
Frequently Asked Questions
Laws vary greatly across countries. In some destinations, both parents can be recognized on the birth certificate from the start, while in others, only one parent may be listed initially and the second must secure rights through adoption or court proceedings in your home country. I’ll help you understand what recognition looks like in each destination, what steps you’ll need to take upon returning home, and connect you with trusted lawyers who specialize in international surrogacy and LGBTQ+ family law.
Depending on the destination, families typically spend anywhere from $50,000 to $250,000. Lower-cost programs are often found in countries with lower surrogate compensations, fewer legal protections or more limited medical infrastructure, while higher-cost destinations (like the U.S.) include extensive legal safeguards, insurance, and higher surrogate compensation. Your total will depend on the country, clinic, and agency you choose.
I’ll help you compare options, understand what’s included, and avoid unnecessary or hidden expenses.
On average, journeys take 15–24 months. This covers matching, contracts, IVF, and pregnancy.
Yes - but how depends on the destination. In some countries, both partners can attend appointments, be present at ultrasounds, and join in milestone updates. In others, legal or logistical restrictions may limit direct involvement. I’ll help you understand what’s possible in each location so you can set realistic expectations from the start.
Yes — many gay couples fertilize eggs with sperm from both partners and then choose the best embryo for transfer.
Stay Connected With Me
You don’t have to walk this journey alone. Stay in touch and find support:
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Join my Facebook Community - meet other LGBTQIA+ intended parents and learn from shared experiences.
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Follow me on Instagram (@thesurrogacyinsider) - I share tips, stories, and behind-the-scenes guidance.
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Use the Contact Form - no question is too small, and I personally reply.
Together, we’ll create a roadmap that fits your goals and values. Let’s turn the dream of parenthood into reality — on your terms, with independent guidance you can trust.
